As I sit in Mauritius, I cant help but reminisce about my experience back in India that happened just a few weeks ago. As I write, I hear the waves breaking over the barrier a few kms away from me, I can see the beauty that unfolds in front of my eyes. The beauty that is this incredible, big blue ocean. An ocean that people from all over the world come to witness. An ocean that cant even compare to any other place Ive been to. Certainly not even the indian part of the ocean in Goa. The ocean there is quite dull in comparison to this, murky almost but very swimmable and so warm that I spent hours just floating and wandering. Even as I sit here surrounded by all this perfection of ocean, sky and the perfect hotel Im staying at, I reminisce of my beautiful and quite life changing experience in India. Its a given that I had to write about it. I need to share this with you.
my tropical paradise
So why did I go to India all by myself? A lot of you have been asking, I had a friend call me before I left and said that was quite “lonely of me”. I laughed really hard at that! I laughed because it was so true, I LOVE being alone! I love that I can go overseas all by myself and feel in control of myself and my experiences. I woke up with this urge one day to just GO. I needed to get away from home and my country, I wanted to experience something, I just had no idea what this urge was or what this something was. But it felt deep! The kind if sensation so deep in your soul that you simply cannot ignore it. I was automatically drawn to a place somewhere in the world where I could do a whole lot of yoga to heal my mind and my soul; and my body through eating healthy, delicious food. I started googling places and was drawn to what would soon be my beautiful paradise – Ashiyana Yoga all the way in Goa. The minute I found this place on google, I just knew this was the one. I still spent weeks searching other places though, just to be sure. But through all my searches, this one place just kept coming up in some deep spot in my soul. Something just urged me to make it happen. After months of saving and planning, I finally made it happen. Finances were in order, relationships built with the organisers via all my emailing, tickets booked, accommodation paid for, food sorted and yoga plus all meditation sessions included in my package. It all worked out just perfectly.
yogo shala with coconut trees
From the day I started planning this adventure to the day of travelling from one airport to the next all around the world to finally arriving in India and getting my taxi all the way to the resort. Arriving 24 hours later in the most comfy yoga pants, vest and very dirty slops and feet, my heart pumping with adrenaline and my mind at complete ease and peace. I couldn’t believe it actually happened, my journey, the thing I felt so deeply in my soul. The reason I felt this feeling, it was all about to be learnt starting right now.
new moon the day I arrived = magic!
My week there was absolutely incredible, not once did I live in the past, nor the future. My ego slowly began to slip away while my awareness and Presence opened me up to this beautiful experience. I practiced yoga 4 hours a day, meditated daily, did a few philosophical workshops and listened to talks from spiritual masters. Ate organic and healthy food that was grown and made by the resort chefs, I spent hours on Goa’s beautiful beach, swimming in the ocean and mingling with the Goan people, yearning to be involved in their culture and be part of their intriguing daily activities. I watched the sun set on the sea as I paddled around in the waves, I sipped on water and mint, ginger tea and masala drinks. I ate naan bread with cheese right on the beach, I sipped on the biggest coconuts every single day and made new friends: beautiful, strong women who have been travelling by themselves for years. I learnt that even though I went to be by myself and experience my own self healing, the true reason I was drawn to Ashiyana and Goa was to meet the people I met. The relationships I made have shaken my very core and have opened me up to a whole new way of living. The yogic way.
Every yoga session was different, not once did I practise the same or even similar sequence. Every yogi I met was devoted to this lifestyle, I asked so many questions, got involved in so many inspiring chats, I laughed so much! I felt so alive, so open to the universe.
I soaked up every bit of my experience during my stay with the Goan yogis, I didn’t want to think anything through until I got home, I didn’t want to ponder or reflect until my heart was ready to. When the time came to reflect and figure out what my journey meant to me, it came to me in a wave of overwhelming emotional thoughts! I had to go to India not to try find myself or discover my truth, but to realise that I already know my Truth. I know my path, I just needed to trust myself and learn to open myself up to changes. Whether these changes are perceived as good or bad, that would be my ego’s doing because every change and every experience MUST happen in order for us to grow and truly trust our souls. I learnt that time is yet another concept I kept getting paranoid about, time doesn’t exist. I only create things to do in the space of time and thats why its so hard to find “time” to relax, reconnect and breathe during my work days and even on weekends. Im so busy creating shit to do that I simply cant find myself amongst all my created said shit.
my gorgeous little beach hut
nag champa incense, only the very best 😉
my balcony overlooking the swamp and forest
Hence going to India for only 1 week. Because 1 week was enough to gain all the openings I needed to gain. You may be thinking that the only reason it was so easy is because it was only a week, I stayed in a beautiful place, I was on vacation and so got to experience it differently as opposed to a sort of working environment. But what you don’t know is that I lived in India just 3 years prior and had possibly the worst experience of my life that put me off ever returning to India again. By me going back to India at all I was breaking my very own stigmas and mind made up fears. I was also roughing it hard, my room was a beach hut that consisted of only a clasp as a lock to both front and back doors, my shower was just a shower head right next to my toilet (nothing else to it) and we couldn’t flush toilet paper down the toilet, the paper had to be thrown in a dustbin 😲🙊 I stayed on a swamp which was actually beautiful but that led to me having daily visitors that came in the form of furry little bodies with more than 4 legs and some nights a frog or 2 (and one night even 3!) But it was so simple. I loved that about it! To get the full effect of what I was going after, I also needed to do this by myself, without my friends and without my boyfriend. A man who is 110% proud and supportive of me doing something as crazy as this and without him. A man so completely sure of himself that this experience (and by our relationship standard) is actually cool! I missed him but this was for me. I also battled with finances more than ever this last year. Its been real, man. Life has been real. I had to save real hard to afford 2 beautiful holidays (amongst all my other normal monthly expenses) which only lasted 1 week each. Not much when you think of it that way now is it? But when you allow yourself to envision being in beautiful places like these, you manifest them. And this is the message that Id like you all to be aware of. No matter where you are in your current life situations, work, relationships and especially financial, you manifest ALL YOUR OWN REALITY.
When you think you cant do it, you cant. When you dream of being in some beautiful exotic country, you will be there. When you expect a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you will fight. I know I allowed myself to worry endlessly about cash last year and thats why I was in so much trouble. I manifested all my own cash issues, as do most people!
I think most of us understand the concept of manifestation, how it works and why it works. Please know that it really isn’t as simple as thinking a thought and so it will be. No. Don’t be so naive. In order to manifest, you have to FEEL and the only way to feel, is to remain present and be aware of the thoughts we think. In essence, we shouldn’t be thinking at all. But thats so much easier said than done. Im human and Im only now learning that my ego is actually the conditioned part of my consciousness. The part that makes us UNconscious. The part that stops us from living our dreams, stops us from travelling by ourselves and allowing us to experience what it means to be human BEINGS because we are so conditioned by fear and things that “could go wrong”. What conditions us? Many things, our culture, upbringing, religion, society, school. As far back as when our parents said that one thing when we were like 5 years old and to this day it sticks in our memories. That one thing that kind of moulded us.
My very special lesson that Ill be holding onto forever, my very life changing lesson is that Im ALLOWED and able to go out into the world and make my mark. Im on my path with natural healing, you’re on your path, whatever it may be and you’ll know because you’ll just get that feeling from somewhere really deep inside you. It sort of feels like a solid knowing and secret promise you’ve made to yourself. Now what you do with that knowing is so imperative. Make sure you change your own life before wanting to change other peoples lives. Realise that where you are right now is the only place that exists for you. From here, you can change absolutely anything, allow yourself to explore, travel and be a free spirit. It truly is the very best gift you can give yourself.
bridge separating the beach from the rest of the resort
Let me put it to you this way: you are 1 in 7.4 billion people on this planet, amongst all the planets, all the millions of stars that are billions of light years away, YOU exist. You are a divine miracle, give me one reason why you shouldn’t be living your dream when you were born to do just that. Whether you see that now or not, just trust that in this vast universe only you have control over you, your life, your situations.
Ill see you around in the world somewhere ✌🏼️💛