Can you imagine a love so pure, so deep, so rich, a flawless and unconditional love? A love without expectation and without any possibility of disappointment. A love without fear, without pain and heartbreak. A love that makes sense and is the answer to all things questioned. This is the kind of love each and every one of us desire when we think of our other half, the sort of love we wish that man or that woman would give us because we’ve been waiting our entire lives for it.
What if I told you this love is actually the love that exists within each and every one of us FOR our own selves. This is the kind of love that we should be giving ourselves. Every single day, all week, all the time.
I had my first encounter with how to truly self love when I was in Goa last year for my yoga retreat. In just a few days, I learnt what it meant to give myself space, time and energy to evolve and heal, to truly do things for me. Ah man, what a truly divine feeling!
After that encounter, its been a whirlwind of events since then. It was almost as if that one trip was the tipping point for all the events to occur afterwards. Through this year’s insane amount of change, heartbreak, love received from others, breaking down of my mind’s conditioning, lessons learned, Ive only grown more to understand what it means to truly give myself love.
Buddha has a beautiful principle: That we should not be attached in any one person, any one job or career, any one situation. We should practice complete detachment from all people and objects so to avoid all disappointment and to give oneself complete and utter love because no body in this entire universe is actually capable of loving you the way you are designed to love you.
This isn’t the kind of love built on ego, Ive realised, its the kind that bubbles from the very core of your inner being. The kind that when you are sick in bed, you won’t be searching for TLC from your partner or your friends, you’ll want to nourish and care for your body and soul all by yourself and you’ll trust that your love is enough to make you better, and it is.
Its the kind of love that when you feel lonely, you’ll know that you need to accept this loneliness, become aware of it, be IN it, BE the loneliness and trust that you’ll learn what you need to from this space. Its the kind of love that will make you feel totally ok with being alone. Loneliness is a strange thing isn’t it, its almost as if you soul has been stripped naked and you’re left exposed to every fear and every pain inside of you. BE that pain, BE that fear. You love yourself deeply and you need to be in this space too.
Its the kind of love that when a man breaks your heart, you allow yourself to cry and be in complete and utter unbreathable pain. Because you know that tomorrow you’ll wake up stronger and fiercer, you know you’ll protect your heart from other loves because your love is more than enough and you don’t ever have to settle for anything until its just at least a tad similar to the love you have for yourself, but even that love, can’t come close to what you already have for you.
Self love, its the kind of love that has enough power to make you crave solitude. It makes you want to do candle lit dinners for yourself, run yourself epsom salt baths, light incense and meditate with your burning sage. It makes you want to nourish your body with delicious and nutritious foods, it makes you want to have the deepest conversations with divine human beings, it makes you want to connect with everyone and everything. It won’t allow you to go toward darkness and pain. It saves you from all of that.
But the most beautiful lesson self love has taught me, is that we learn so much compassion and eventually we connect with other humans on a much deeper level than what we are used to and this is because we see our reflection in each and every other human being. This is the power of loving oneself. It has the universal power to connect us all.